Weight gain for recovery

Lately, i have been really upset. I know right now i should be focusing on recovery from this eating disorder but it still kinda sucks when everybody around me is losing weight and i am the only one gaining weight. And today i was so scared of being teased about being a little chubby i got really defensive when my friend started making remarks on how fattening the foods we sometimes eat are. I know she was not talking about what i eat but i cant help but feel insecure. Although i am putting on a little bit of weight each week but i have not binged in a while and i am so proud of that. Maybe i allow myself treats to often but i also try to eat healthy. And i am just really confused on what i should be doing. I have also been lacking exercise lately although i crave ever so much. Exams are around the corner and being in the top class there is a lot of pressure on keeping the standards up. I know we should focus on recovery but sometimes i cant help but step on the scale. Sometimes after i overeat i consider pirging but at the end i dont because that will only trigger me to eat more. And through the process of not purging, i have successfully kept my binging under control. But the weight gain really got to ms. Any advice?? Much appreciated <3

Late night desserts

Just had some cake and a lot of chocolate. I dont understand why i couldnt just stop at one serving.... I am so sick and tired if being unhealthy. Not exercising and waking up feeling like blahhh.... I need to start eating healthier. That will start with smashing in the vegessss XDD no but seriously guyss, lets do this together and start eating like we actually care <3

Healthy lifestyle

Hey my superstars, i have to be honest. Lately, i have been feeling unmotivated to do anything. I know it is a healthy lifestyle not a diet but this lack of motivation has caused me to break all my habits. Like exercising. I dont really beat myself up over it but i admit it is not the best feeling in the world. I have no idea how to get my motivation back. So i am hoping i can do this with all of u :)) stay strong :))

I feel like binging!!!

Guys lately I try my best to stay away from the foods and habits that my trigger my brain to binge eat and including a tad bit of cereal with yogurt was certainly enough to send my brain to a frenzy mode but I am struggling to keep myself in control. Don't give in now sweethearts....  No..... Don't please..... So here is my meals so far and I will post a pic of my dinner later :) 

Only had one of these though I had 5 cashews XD

Yesterday's meals

Although I only had one....

 

The picture of my dinner is in my brothers phone sorry.... I had a light binge session during dinner....:(

I am back!!!

I am back and more determined than ever. I here by promise that I will post every single pic of every single meal and try to keep myself on track. The reason being I have gained all my weight back and my brain just keeps telling me to binge. I have noticed that when I workout I tend to stay on track better so despite the lack of time during exams. I will still make it and obligation to exercising not because I want to lose weight but because I miss that feeling of being healthy. So let's get started shall we? And tomorrow's Monday so there.is no reason why u shouldn't get started. Put down that Oreo and tomorrow let's pick up a dumbell to represent all the Oreos we have eaten and every Oreo u eat every pound u put on that barbell and lift that shit!!!! so here are my starting results April 21 56kgs and next weight in day April 26..... Let's get started because I can't do this without u guys....

Day 1

I have decided to take it a day at a time. Don't get me wrong. I still have my sugar cravings but moderation is KEY!!!

Breakfast- awesome green tea with steamed chicken, lettuce, cucumber and a slice of Cheesedale cheese :)

I was suppose to eat this in school but the teacher asked me to go home coz I had conjunctivitis and she didn't want me to infect others which is stupid!!!

Snack- lettuce, cucumber and a lice of pomelo.

Lunch- stir fry cabbage with tempeh and I still had my sugar cravings so I had additional sweet potato :) plus I also had a detox juice to go with it.

Dinner- a scoop of whey and some cream cheese, with two boiled eggs and steamed cauli flower. Sorry if I did not take a pic, i forgot XD the reason why I have so much protein at dinner is because I have my dinner right after I workout so this is pretty much it guys!!!!

Let us see if we can turn that 52 into 49 again ;) take it a day at a time!! Remember it is a lifestyle not a diet :)

I've decided...

To not look at it as if I'm reaching a goal. I'm going to look at it as if I'm living a lifestyle not like a match that I have to train the entire week for. So, here it is!! The new me!!! I gotta feel in control of my mind and body again!!! These past few weeks I have felt so helpless that now I'm going to gain control like Shaun t always says in his workouts. No more goal reaching but a LIFESTYLE :)

BINGE like no tomorrow for a month!!!

Hey y'all, I know, I know... I have been dodging my blog lately. The reason why I started posting more stuff back then was because Chinese New Year was coming up and I gotta look smokin red hot and trust me I did. But that victory was over celebrated with lots of pastries and junk food. And I try my best to incorporate healthy meals everyday but sometimes I just can't. For example, when I went back to my hometown I had no access to healthy foods. Plus, I have been restricting myself too much so when It came to eating. I ate the foods like there was no tomorrow. And I got sick. Maybe my body was not use to all the crap. Think I stopped there??? NO!! Being sick was another excuse I used to eat bread. And boy was I craving bread. I told myself I was going to be in control but I lost it!! 4 peanut cookies were around 250 calories. I knew that!! But that did not stop me from eating 20 of them even more. Literally!! And that did not include my other junky meals. Plus I was so tired of going hard on my exercise so I didn't. I was on health vacation for 2 weeks. Then I told myself enough and I was getting back on the wagon. But then during the entire week if being healthy. I felt like shit!!! My sugar cravings were like calling out to me plus I still have so many Chinese New Year pastries in my house. I had a little sugary snacks here and there to satisfy the cravings but everytime 1 turns into 2 and so on. By the time it was Friday night, it was another traditional Chinese New Year celebration where the entire family sits down and have a reunion dinner. Guess what??? I blew my week!!! In that one platter, including the multiple rounds afterwards. The next day was another family celebration at the BUFFET!!! I guess 3 rounds if unhealthy junk like butter chicken really set me off like a competitive eating champion. Plus, caramel cakes and gelatin made me so happy. Wait for it.... 8 pieces of awesome carrot cakes. Did I feel guilty? No!! They were the bomb. Sunday, why not start on Monday? I ate like there was no tomorrow!!! And guess what I have gained from 49kilos to 52 kilos ;) yes, I'm.... Sad... The reason I was so motivated to go all out because there was a goal to reach. Now? There is no goal. But the Cambodia trip I'm taking at the end of the weak, but I'm not gonna have the confidence like I had to wear tank tops and shorts.... So I've decided to.....

Today's challenge!!

Hey guys sorry if I hadn't logged in what I are yesterday, I got lazy XD but today I'm gonna log in and tell you what I ate today but with no pics sorry... Only for breakfast though. Lunch I will post it up later ;) for breakfast I had my usual green tea with kiwi and oatmeal with peanut butter breakfast :) hell yea buddy... And yesterday was "no fried" day which means an entire day with no fried food!! Pan fried included!! I know stir fry isn't exactly bad for you but it is about the discipline of knowing you can accomplish what ur mind is telling you to do. Plus stir fry sometimes for an average teenager with not a lot of money like me can't afford to buy coconut oil or spray my pan with some type of 1 or 2 calorie oil. My parents won't spend money on that so I am left with no choice but to use regular oil and butter. So I try to limit myself. And today's challenge is...... Go vegan!!!!!! Yes I am allowed to have stir fry just all things vegetables so I wil keep u guys posted! Stay lovely and stay healthy <3

Binging

Guys after conquering the juice fast, I am struggling to keep myself in control coz I constantly want to binge!!! Anyway here is my lunch. I actually binged on some stir fried bean sprout and I feel like eating durians too. But I am saving myself for a feast tonight so I gotta keep in control!!! Anyway here is my lunch.

 And don't forget the bean sprouts. As you can see I have already munched away some water chestnut ;)

Stay sting lovers!!!!

Fantasies about food shattered

Hello my lovelies ;) yes we did it!!! We have officially completed out smoothie or juice fast and today I am gonna reward myself but I try to ease myself in to food coz yesterday we did not eat any food. So eating lots of food today will destroy our metabolism. Sorry if I did not take any picture of my breakfast but what I had was 1 cup of grapes and a boiled egg with a slice of papaya. As for my mid morning snack I gave myself a little treat that is a bite of chocolate cupcake which has been tempting me the entire week but it didn't taste that fantastic... Fantasy shattered :( see guys, never fantasize about food coz they don't really live up to our crazy thoughts about them being so delicious. And I also had a butter cookie from tesco, which also has been tempting me all week long and they are really sweet!! Until it makes me a little sick, but they look pretty though. I just feel like like having some sweet potato now. But here are the cookies.

Guys second juice in and now I'm about to get my protein shake in after my workout. Sorry, I forgot to take a pic of my second smoothie but here are the ingredients 

1cup of milk

1 cup of strawberries

3 cups of lettuce and

1 medium banana 

I can't lie there are some times I feel like I'm so tired but second juice in I feel so full and so energetic!!! And im seeing awesome results ;) stay strong guys love ya<3

Move!! Don't you boys like girls who move

Guys I have so much energy but i'm just so lazy to get up and do stuff but I'm gonna be ACTIVE!!!! Bluargh!!! Don't sit down all day, get up and let's move our sexy asses!!

Juice fast

Hey my people, today is my juice fast, and I'm just starting with one day. Just to kinda ease myself in and to discipline myself. It's really hard to go on a juice fast with this much junk food in my house especially when it is a Saturday!! But I'm pulling through for you guys and my first juice in, I feel really refreshed and great!! I ain't gonna lie I'm so looking forward to my cheat day tomorrow but at least I disciplined myself for these past few days so I know I'm in control of my own body and mind. 

These are just some of the ingredients that went into my smoothie or juice fast.( whatever you call it) I actually took a picture because the strawberries looked so freakin beautiful especially when I was washing them, it gave me an idea to drink water with strawberries coz they look amazing with just clear filtered water. The reason why I'm so excited about eating strawberries is because they are hard to get coz they r kinda expensive in my country. And don't worry guys if you think that strawberries are gonna make you fat coz they're high in fructose( fruits don't make you fat!!), strawberries are actually high in water content just like watermelon they are around 96% water so munch your way to great alternatives. 

I got a lot of juice from this. I know it doesn't look appetizing in fact it looks like crap but I looks great inside your body and those Big Macs and pizzas look like crap stored inside your body, worst part is they won't get out due to their lack of fibre. This juice may not look nice to drink but that just makes you feel fuller and it pushes out all those Big Macs and whatever crap I are this week so here are the ingredients!!!

1 cup of milk

1 cup of strawberries

3 kiwis

2/3 of a cup of broccoli

( remember to always incorporate some protein in your smoothies)

Love y'all and let's get through this day together!! Ps, my workout for today is insanity the asylum- vertical plyo!! It's gonna be though but remember my motto is eat clean and train dirty ;)!!

Motivated

Hey my lovelies, I am so proud of myself for sticking to my food diary challenge and not treating myself for two days now . I know you're thinking why can't you treat yourself? First of all, I constantly treat myself, up to a point where instead of once a week it would be everyday. I'm not saying you can't treat yourself everyday, if you do it in small portions. I was treating myself the entire meal. I need to gain back the discipline. And I was tempted with corn just now but I just told myself I got to be a role model for you guys and I need to be disciplined. I know corn is good for you but it's carbihydrates and we don't need that much carbohydrates at night especially before you go to bed. I'm so proud of myself and now I feel like I'm so strong mentally and more motivated than EVER!! That is why I have decided to do a JUICE FAST tomorrow. Hopefully I can pull through!!! Please pray for me. I wil keep you guys posted ;) see ya and stay awesome 

It's okay

Hey y'all, today I didn't really have time to do my after workout cardio that I assigned to myself for today and I didn't really stretch well after my workout coz I was rushing to head out to the night market so my mum and I could pick up my brother from work in time. Guys, I'm here to let you know that it's ok, and not to beat urself up over it. Coz we are only human and we can only try our best to do the best we can so pat yourself on the back and say "you did fantastic, sexy b*tch!" XD

Food diary 2

Hey superstars!! Here is my food diary for today. Sorry I did not have time to take pictures of my snack and dinner coz I was rushing out to pick up my brother from work. 

 Oatmeal with peanut butter and some lemon water- breakfast

Snack-2 kiwis

Gigantic lunch- 1 corn on the cob, broccoli, cucumber, orange, 2 boiled egg, tomatoes and an apple.

Dinner- whey protein shake and a large Fuji apple( tasted better than ice cream)

Lazy? my ass

Hey warriors :) u know there are the days that you just feel lazy and not active at all? Yup, that's exactly how I'm feeling right now and I'm just so tired don't know why... But that does not mean I'm not going to workout, in fact I'm gonna keep telling myself "my body can do ANYTHING" and I rather die a warrior than live a coward. So don't not workout just coz u feel like you don't have energy coz remember, motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going ;) so let's gear up and get ready for WAR!!!

Evil things that will kill u!! Temptation!!

Struggles

Guys,my mom just brought home tons of pastries which are my biggest weakness but I am staying motivated for u guys. * I will post the pictures of the pastries later on. Reminders to stay strong and disciplined.

 

Food diary day 1

My lovelies here you r ^^ my meals 

 

Breakfast :)_steamed sweet potato with my apple delight and green tea

 

I didn't end up eating the apple :( btw this is my snack for school.

Lunch, the sweet potato is from this morning coz my transport came and I could not finish them in time._orange, steamed chicken,lettuce,cucumber,tomatoes,sweet potato.

Dinner_tuna, salad,cherry tomatoes, and cucumber

Challenge conquered!!!!

Hey my lovelitoes, I have finally maned up and completed the food diary challenge for a day!!! I'm so proud of myself. I know u guys r thinking it's just one day but always celebrate your accomplishments and I realised that starting with a week might be starting with a leap instead of a step so baby step my lovelies. Remember to always celebrate yourself! Although I felt a little lazy to workout today but I pulled through. Don't bear yourself up over it coz there are days you'll be at your best and worst. Just learn to be better than you were yesterday ;)

you know what guys~ I'm so sick of myself not sticking to or following through on something so I'm gonna force myself to do this challenge and make sure i follow through coz chinese new year is coming up and i wanna look hot! ^^ Sta strong my lovelies, I'm dying here with you!~

I am like not sticking to this challenge and i'm so pissed off and disappointed at myself. Worst part is my mom brought home an entire large box of cookies and muffins, last but certainly not the least, my favourite cupcakes!!!!! Please hopefully 2mrw will be a better day~ ERGH!!! guys stay diciplined coz temptations are gonna be everywhere @@ 

Challenge!!

This week's challenge is the FOOD DIARY challenge!! Look out for new pics :) Im gonna be posting what i eat for the this week. Hopefully this keeps me motivated to stop treating myself too often :)

troubles

hey guys, i was skinny fat, even now im still a little skinny fat. That little pooch under my belly button has always been a pain in my butt XP back when i was doing insanity the asylum, i had this big belly because i did not know any better, great workouts but lack of knowledge diet wise. I gain huge legs due to intense workouts and large leg muscles from insanity. Now i have managed to lose that little bit of belly fat during school holidays but now im back to school. Which means less hours to workout, more cravings and more stress. During the holidays, i workout twice a day, cardio and weights, but now i can only squueze in my weight training and now i've noticed that my belly has gotten a little bigger.Plus, im constantly treating myself. four days in a row now! Now, im really confused coz research shows that weight lifting is the way to stop being skinny fat. ERGH!!! Hopefully i can solve this problem soon coz this pooch is causing my energy to pooch as well. What should i do, weights or cardio? BTW, my pooch's name is ASS ;)

Hey yall, i've decided my new year's resolution is be the best that I can be ^^ so this means being better health wise. Last year, I was at the peak of my weight like ever. 58 kgs n now I'm currently 52kgs and at 20.4 BMI. Im so proud of myself for accomplishing my goals for 2013 and for 2014 my resolution is to get...ABS and toner arms. So lets get started, shall we? 

Disco

My aunt the foxy mama XDD Me, Hanna and Ah Yolk as usual_ high on sugar =,= All of this combined together equals a DISCO baby!!

Hope is not just myth, its just a heartbeat that keeps us faithful ...<3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">